Ah, spring. I’m sitting on the front porch as I write this. The front porch of my little 1940's house becomes my second living room during the summer. I’m counting the days until I can get back out here on the regular! 

The sun is shining. The birds are singing, they’re exited too. And if you live in the Midwest, you know the smell of spring in the air…the fresh air smells a little like mud. It’s loamy. The snow has melted and the fertile soil is welcoming the first bursts of spring…I saw my first yellow crocuses today. The tulips, daffodils, and hyacinths aren’t far behind.  Soon the straw colored dead grass will give way to the fresh, green lawns of 2022.  The earth just seems to smile a bit more…and so do we as we get back outside and blow the dust off.

And with spring comes spring break, spring vacation, Easter vacation, spring holiday…whatever you choose to call it. Our family never really took spring vacations when I was a kid. As an adult, with a young child in school, and living in another state, my husband and I quickly learned that “spring break” was a thing.  An annual ritual.  Now that I'm solo, it’s still a bit of a yearly tradition for me so many years later.

For the last few years, I’ve flown off to Florida. Visiting a variety of friends, cities, beaches, and every once in a while, a theme park. This year, I procrastinated making my plans. “I don’t have the money,” or “I have too many things on the calendar,” or “work is too busy” or “should I spend the money”. When it comes right down to it…I’ve been afraid. Afraid to commit, afraid to plan. And what is procrastination? Yep…nothing but fear.

I’ve not taken a plane trip since my diagnosis. February, 2021 was my last flight. I was diagnosed a month later, so really, I was flying/traveling with Meniere’s, I just didn't know it's name yet.  Has anything really changed?  Part of me wants to say, “nothing really.” However, in my heart of hearts, I do know things have changed in the short span of a year.  My ears are far more unruly. They feel full or snap, crackle, and pop more than ever. My hearing has diminished in my left ear. I’m leaning in toward people with my "good ear" far more often. I notice the strange, dizzy, slightly off balance “hum” more regularly. Does that mean I'll never go anywhere ever again? 

Only a week ago it didn’t occur to me that I’d be going at all. I was just going to let spring break kind of float on by.  I was just going to let Meniere’s quietly sneak up and hold me back, make me afraid, and take something else from me.  I’d simply choose to do nothing...that was apparently my plan. 

Well, sometimes when you don’t have the guts to jump, the universe will just give you a little shove right off the high dive and into the deep end, just like the kid you knew in the third grade. Have you ever noticed that?  I happened to be looking at my calendar and staring back at me was a rather empty week coming up. Allegiant was still offering some really great fares, and friends were ready to welcome me with a place to stay and relax. And then, the unmistakable Karmic bomb dropped right into my lap. The On the Vertigo golf tournament, to raise awareness and funds for Meniere’s Disease research, is in April.  And wouldn't you know, it's going to be held only about 25 minutes from where I would be staying.

A bit of back-story…Discovering the book On the Vertigo: One Sick Man's Journey to Make a Difference  made a huge impact on me early in my Meniere’s journey.  It was the second book I read actually, when I was hungry for any information I could find.  I stumbled upon Steve Schweir and his book through an online support group when I was feeling quite overwhelmed  by the fear of my new diagnosis. Connecting with Steve and his brother, Dave, has allowed me, like so many others, to learn more about Meniere’s, to see the positive, to find more courage, strength, and humor as we live with this disease.  (He and his brother are funny guys.)

I simply couldn’t deny the time in my schedule, the invitation from friends, and the opportunity to meet a fellow Meniere's warrior and volunteer to help with the tournament. This was a clear message from the Universe! I believe God gives us signs. I believe in the flow of our lives, how situations present themselves. We can choose to not see, not hear, and keep trying to travel upstream...or we can participate and join with ease, you know, downstream.  God opens doors, and this door was being flung wide open for me to walk right through. 

Am I apprehensive? Yes. Do I fear an attack on the plane with every fiber of my being? Yes. Yet, I’m going to jump in.  None of us approach any new challenge or new situation in life without at least some preparation, right? This is no different. And hey, I’m a mom...we know how to be prepared for every scenario. If I’ve got 4 bottles of water, and what amounts to a Walgreen's pop-up in my carry-on, then so be it. If I find I don’t need any of the meds, even better!  I’ll be prepared regardless! That in itself will probably relax me.

As I sit here in the warm-ish sun, listening to the birds singing, I'm reminded that spring is a time when we can begin again. Come back to life.  Shake off those gray of the winter blahs.  We feel energized.  Invigorated.  What better time to conquer a fear or an insecurity, right?  What better time to emerge from that safe little cocoon of habits where our Meniere’s Disease can keep us?  We’re all different. Our symptoms are as unique as each one of us.  What is something unique to you, that you can try, even the littlest thing, to help you feel stronger? To help you conquer a fear you have? To enable you to take back a little bit more of your power?  To help you feel more independent?  For me, it’s grabbing my sun screen and getting on that plane!

With love and wishing you good balance.  Happy Spring!